As my physical condition changes, I have started to realise how uncommon it is to offer your seat to someone in need on public transport in Hong Kong. Take, for example, my daily MTR commute to and from work. Whenever a person in need of a seat steps into a crowded compartment, the majority of seated passengers continue with what they are doing, such as playing with their handhelds, reading newspapers or magazines, catnapping, chatting, etc. Those with nothing else to do simply pretend to be unaware of the person, and many more simply take note yet do nothing about it. Friends who hear me vent my feelings about the lack of compassion of our citizens try to comfort me and say that maybe people can't tell whether I am a chubby girl or an expectant mother, and they decide to skip the favour to avoid the embarrassment. Of course this is possible, but I don't think my friends truly believe that this is what actually happens in most cases.

On days when I particularly crave a seat I am reminded of Japan. Many of Japan's transportation vehicles have priority seating to cater for the needy, such as the elderly, disabled, pregnant women and young children. These priority seats are painted in a different colour and are usually near the exits. It seems that Hong Kong has a lot of catching up to do, as apparently this has already become a cultural consensus in Japan; passengers fill up other seats first when possible, or promptly give up their priority seating should someone in need come by. This, I think, is in stark contrast to what is happening in Hong Kong nowadays.

Of course there are also times when kind people do actually offer their seats to me, most of them women in their 20s and 30s. I've asked some friends who've had babies which gender is more willing to offer their seats. It turns out that the ratio is much the same, but rather they note that people in their 30s are more courteous. We also agree that we seldom, or even never, see people in their 20s or younger — people whom we consider in their prime and who should have a stronger sense of respect — offer their seats to those in need. Of course, I can't make a rushed judgment and say that this younger generation is less compassionate or worse citizens than people in their 30s. But I do think that a group of mothers' observations and real-life experiences might serve as a thermometer to measure the city's courteousness.

By Jan Mak