I hate festivals. It's a time I get so bored at home that I'd want to go out. But the meaningless hustle and bustle outside would make you want to go home. I don't want any presents from my partner only because I don't want to pick on something not to my liking. But if she's got nothing for me for the occasion, I would feel let down.

I don't understand why I insist on keeping promises. If my partner promises something but fails to deliver, I will get mad.

Finding the pressure of being with me too much for her, she would say: how can I match all the girl's before me in your life? One false step and the ninety-nine times I've done right will be down the drain.

I don't want that either. But no matter how hard I try, I can't find the "delete" key in my heart to erase the past memories, get all the pains and sorrows behind me, and love wholeheartedly again.

I have a cynical way of putting things, and I have an easily bruised ego, and tend to see things in a negative way. I'm too upright, and am never ready to commit to a relationship. I like to be pampered and I'm never trusting. … The more I try to cover up this side of myself, the more things get worse. My partner would feel sorry to have fallen in love with someone like me. And I would hate myself for it more than anyone else.

Many women would love me because of my undying love for my old flames. They would tend to think that they can save and change a man like me. But, in the end, the reason they leave me would be exactly the same as the one they fell for me in the first place.

By Ying-hing Ong